From Where I Stand

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Location: West Coast, Florida, United States

A reader and a writer. A dreamer and a doer.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The computer I am using tonight is SOOOOO much better.

Today, I moved to a cheap hostel. Tonight, I share a room with 4 other girls. Tomorrow I will be in a dormitory room with 17 other girls.

For the equivalent of approximately $45.00 American, I have a bed, a locker, a hot shower, free breakfast and a hot dinner which is, actually, rather good. I'm a picky eater, so if I say it's good, you can trust me on that! I have always complained about the food in the Netherlands, but the food here is really quite decent. I enjoyed my meal tonight much more than the one I paid 25 Euros for last night, and this one only cost me 5 Euros. Last night, I left hungry and tonight, I ate a plate that was piled high with good, hot food, lots of veggies, it was awesome.

And .... the internet here is great. Prices are even better. I paid 4 Euros for one hour. At the stupid hotel I stayed at last night, I paid 30 cents per minute - one hour would have cost me 18 Euros - the equivalent of almost $30 American. That was just so BOGUS for a computer that didn't even work!

I'm happier here, in many ways, than I was in the much more expensive hotel last night. I was insulated there, but here, I am soaking in the real SPIRIT of the city, and the heart of the country. I have 4 roommates, and they are interesting ladies. Two of them have just finished a 30-day stint of doing media research for the University of Amsterdam. I talked to them about the specifics of their research, and it opened up a whole "crop" of conversation topics for me. The European Union is in the process of setting up a political structure which will be the "umbrella" for all the member nations. All of this fascinates me, because the European Union is growing all the time, gaining more and more members.

The major world powers are re-aligning - RIGHT NOW - and I am talking to people who are actually studying the popular sentiment about all these changes, and the political changes that these voters are creating. I am wishing I didn't have my family stuff to do, and could just stay in Amsterdam and keep talking to these people.

On my way back to the hostel tonight, I stopped at what looked like a fruit stand, but inside, there were so many delectable treats, I couldn't resist buying more food. I bought three little apricots, a handful of ripe black cherries and two bananas for my breakfast and lunch tomorrow, when I will be on the move. I also got a package of (my favourite) water-packed Mediterranean black, salty olives and a round of feta cheese, packed in water so that it's fresh.

I'm not hungry now, but think I'll go back to my room and share the olives and cheese with whoever happens to be there.

I LOVE THIS CITY!!!!!

But I hate seeing the bad things it brings out in some people. There is so much self-degradation here, so much self-abuse, and so many people who are walking around looking and acting like they have already checked out of life. I'm staying in the Jordaan area, which is definitely nice, but when I go to Centraal Station, or anywhere else out of this little area, the mood changes fast. Even in this nice, family area, there are some real "space cadets" wandering around. Their eyes are staring, glassy and dead-looking. They are obviously so stoned that they don't know where they are walking. I ache for them. Just wish I could wrap them up in a blanket and take them to a quiet place for a while, until they came down from whatever they are on - but then, I wouldn't want to be around them when that happened!

This hostel is one of the two biggest in Amsterdam, and both of them are run as non-profits by a Christian ministry organization. As I'm sitting here, typing, I'm listening to one of the volunteers talking to a pair of kids who seem to be feeling kinda lost and confused (kids like that are a dime a dozen in this city, especially at this time of year.) The volunteer worker is talking to them about his experience of a better way of life. Another one of the volunteers - a girl - walked up, and is massaging the girl's shoulders, and both of them are listening. The guy is getting more involved in the conversation, but it looks like the girl is too wasted to really pay attention.

On Saturday there is going to be a huge demonstration, a gay pride parade. I didn't know about it until today when someone told me about it, but now that I know, I'm glad to be leaving that morning. I don't want to get caught in the middle of all those passionate people, some of them defending their relatively unpopular lifestyle without using any class or dignity for their defense, and others protesting them, using equally classless tactics, probably waving anti-gay slogans and screaming "death and destruction" words at the demonstrators. I don't want any part of any of it. I don't want to see it. I don't want to be anywhere near it.

The female of the couple I mentioned has perked up a bit and joined in on the conversation at the "bar." I hope she eats something soon, 'cause she looks like she needs it. Well .... she is in good hands now, I guess.

Gotta go .... gonna take a walk along one of the canals, now that the car traffic is gone and the bicycles are gone. It's a nice night for a stroll.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I'm in Amsterdam now, trying to fight with a stupid public computer that has a serious bad atttitude. I pay 30 euro cents per minute to be online, and this thing is just not working. It won't navigate around my email website, just keeps stalling. Only responds to my input once in a while. It's driving me crazy! It's already cost me 8 euros (about 12 American dollars) just to read my email and convince this beast to navigate to my blog. This thing just keeps freezing up, or "stuttering" and stuff like that.

The weather here is idyllic. Hasn't rained a drop, yet. I didn't sleep last night on the plane at all, and have been going all day long. Basically getting myself situated, sorting out logistics. all that crap. Tonight, I will sleep and tomorrow, I will be able to start having fun! And, hopefully, find a more functional computer!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

just watched the first trailer released for the upcoming movie "alice in wonderland" starring helen bonham carter and johnny depp. they are both seasoned actors and very good at portraying drama, so this casting practically guarantees a good performance. the trailer confirmed my expectations. johnny depp does "crazy" to perfection, in ANY role, and the Mad Hatter role is perfect for him.

i'm gonna be sitting on pins and needles, waiting for this movie's release in march of next year. this one will be worth the hassle of going to a movie theatre, in order to see it right away.

meanwhile .... back home .... my nephew john, sister judy and i - and maybe some of john's friends - are planning to watch the latest harry potter movie this friday, on john's birthday. it's a 3-hour movie, and i don't expect it to be nearly as good as the first lord of the rings movie, but nevertheless, i liked reading the harry potter series, and it will be loads of fun to watch it with a few young, teenaged boys.

on friday morning, we will be standing up pallets, propping up sheets of plywood and arranging other stuff in the open front pasture, to make a suitable playing field.

on saturday morning, the game begins. i was going to play with them, but just don't want to put on all the necessary layers of clothing protection, in this abominable florida heat. i would rather get a big glass of iced tea and watch from a window, in air-conditionned comfort!

rocco is getting psyched, because he is watching me pack up our travel gear and he can tell that i am getting ready to go on the move again. he just LOVES travelling! it's too bad i can't take him with me to holland, but that wouldn't be feasible. he will be happy to hang out at mom's place and play with her dog. the two of them play very well together, and it does rocco good to interact with another dog, once in a while.

between mom's dog and the dogs belonging to the other friends we will be visiting, rocco is going to have a month-long "play date." he is going to just HATE coming home again, to this quiet, empty house!

i'm gonna hate it, too! but now, all i need to do is look forward to the next month, and get ready to enjoy it.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Had the strangest dream last night, and it won't leave my mind. Most dreams fade within minutes of awakening, but this one has been holding onto me all day.

I was in a castle - a king's palace, actually, a modern palace, the residence of the ruler of a large nation. Everything was very luxurious and opulent.

I was some sort of "page." I was a staffer, with access to every nook and cranny of the huge palace. All of the royal family knew me and they would have me sit to have tea with them. The king allowed me to come into his inner office at will, and everyone else - from the laundry women to the security people - trusted me. I had many duties. I would go through the palace, carrying messages from the king to his family and staff. I wouldn't actually "carry" messages, I would just run around telling everyone what they were supposed to be doing, or telling them that the king wanted to talk to them in his office right away .... stuff like that. If the cook needed more flour, I was the one who told the steward to buy more flour. I was always walking from one part of the palace to the other, delivering messages like that. Sometimes, I would help a laundry lady do the laundry. Sometimes, I would help the little princess get ready for school. Sometimes, I would pour tea for myself and the king's family. I was everywhere, doing all things. I was happy in the palace. I loved being such an integral part of all the goings-on. Sometimes, the king would trust me with important duties that he wouldn't trust anyone else with. I was the only one he trusted completely.

Then, there was a war in the kingdom. It was a short war, and the kingdom's army was quickly defeated. I was very busy then, in the king's private office most of the time. He would talk to me about how the war was going, and tell me how worried he was. He would send me to various parts of the palace, summoning his advisors and captains to his office, and bringing him meals to eat in his office. I tried to comfort him, but there really wasn't much I could say. I wasn't a soldier, and I couldn't do anything to influence the battlefield.

One day, I was walking through the halls on my way to the king's office, when the laundry lady stopped me. She told me the king wanted me RIGHT AWAY. I ran as fast as I could to his office, and when I got there, he was almost in tears. He told me that the war was lost and the other king was going to take over the palace. He told me to tell everyone else to prepare to surrender to the other king. I cried with him for a minute, but then he told me to run - hurry - and spread the word. I ran all over the palace, crying all the time, telling everyone. Everyone else started crying. I told them that the kings said we were to surrender peacefully and with dignity. We were all very sad.

The sounds of war outside stopped. Everything was quiet. The streets around the palace all emptied out. It started to rain, gently.

The king's family left the palace. Most of the staff left also. The king was upset because everyone was leaving him. I told him that I would never leave him, I would stay with him to the end. He patted my shoulder and thanked me. He asked me to run around the castle and find whomever was still there, and bring them to his office. I did that. There were only four or five staff people left in the palace, plus the king and myself.

Everyone was in the king's office, but I was still running around the palace, trying to make sure everything was in order. I wanted to make sure there were no pots burning on the stoves, or unmade beds, or anything that would show that this palace was anything less than perfect. As I ran around, tidying rooms, I saw through the windows that there were big, huge transport trucks pulling up on the streets around the palace. There were beautiful, fancy airplanes taxiing up to the curb on the streets beside the main entrance. The trucks and the airplanes were all the same colour and design, very sleek, glamorous and new. The new king and his entourage were arriving, getting ready to take possession of our palace.

I hurried back to the king, and he said it was time for those of us who were left to greet the conquering king. We stood inside the entrance to the castle, looking out on the grand courtyard in front. My king looked very fine, wearing an old-fashioned kingly robe of scarlet and ermine (like something from a fairy-tale book.) He made me stand beside him, and held his hand on my arm. His hand on my arm helped me take courage, and I stood calmly, not crying like I wanted to do.

The new king's servants walked in first, carrying various things into the palace, and then his family came. The children were accompanied by finely-dressed escorts, and there were other servants walking on either side of them through the courtyard and up the grand staircase into the palace.

I woke up before the new king stepped into view.

All day long, I have felt sad and confused. Just can't shake this feeling.

What on earth can that dream have been about?????

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

It's finally official. My new neice is here in Florida, permanently.

The city and state of New York Social Services departments have awarded Dave and Dawn full custody. Helen's father has relinquished his rights to custody, and is agreeing with the court's decision. A NYC social services worker flew Helen here, drove her to Dave and Dawn's house and turned her over, with all the paperwork they will need to assume custody.

She arrived with a couple pieces of clothing that didn't fit properly. Not ONE extra pair of socks or panties. Without the hat and scarf Auntie Heidi had made and given to Helen a couple months ago, and without the toys we had given her and sent to NYC with her.

A quick trip into town solved the immediate clothing crisis, and that was the end of that. "Onward and upward!"

Helen's foster caregiver had taught her to call her "Mom" and that really rankles with us, but we are sure she will get over that soon enough. It bothers Dawn more than anyone, because Helen is her sister's child. Dawn promised her sister to take care of Helen, and keeps her picture in a prominent place. Whenever the subject comes up, Dawn tells Helen "that was your mother."
Dave and Dawn are Auntie and Uncle, to her.

As promised, here are some photos of our new princess. It was impossible for me to get a candid shot of this girl. She is a camera hog, and seems to sense whenever someone is sneaking up on her with a camera. She poses herself in a split second, making a natural picture impossible. Here she is, having her daily tea party with Auntie Judy and Auntie Heidi:


She conned Cousin John into joining the tea party, and playing a card game with them. Here is another of her poses:
She insisted on a picture with one of her dolls:

And posed again with Auntie Heidi:

I just couldn't resist putting this picture into the blog. My handsome baby brother - my hero - my sweet little "Jigger" - Dave, the proud new uncle/father: